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the great pursuit

Summer....never was a huge fan. All the while I love the fun, the sun, the tanning, the freedom from homework and I love not thinking about deadlines and tests. However, the lack of schedule truly annoys me. A few months before summer begins I dread it. In the summer is where I lose touch with God, it's where I feel distant...knowing full well that I am the one moving away, not Him. It's in the summer where I let go of Him...yet He never lets go of me.
Reasons for this? You tell me. I don't get it really. Laziness? yes, I believe that plays a major role. so this summer went a little differently. I went to Haiti, which was a life changing trip...there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it, don't pray about. Then after I got back I had troubles adjusting...deep down inside I might still have troubles...but nothing that the Lord can't take care of. I miss that place...I miss everyone there. But being back was the most difficult thing I have ever experienced (besides being adopted.) So, I went through a dry spell...oh how I hate those. however, in the dryness of it all, I heard Him call. Some days it was loud and clear, some days it was a whisper...nevertheless, I heard Him call. He was in constant pursuit of me. Every day I saw His mercies, I saw His grace...His unconditional love. Finally, I had to get over myself. I prayed, I read the word, and it regenerated me. I wasn't going to let this summer become just like the rest. My past summers haven't been the best. From the time I got here because of my own sin and foolishness, my summers were spent with guilt and shame and constant family talks. but not this one. I wasn't going to let my past summer experiences ruin this one. I wasn't going to dwell on the past....and I chose to move forward. Last week I read a book by my favorite author Karen Kingsburry "Where yesterday lives," an  excellent read.
It taught me not to dwell on the many yesterdays, because that doesn't leave any room to grow toward many tomorrows. this summer...I realized...through reading the word and this book....that God, My Father and my Healer is in constant pursuit of me...not matter how many times I try to satisfy myself through my ways....He doesn't want me to travel the road of many pailful yesterdays...He wants me to continue to grow...continue to lean on Him, and to never be satisfied with where i am with Him, to always press on.
this is why this summer has been the best.....while I began to slowly lose touch with Him....He pursued me like I was never pursued before. "forgetting the former things; not dwelling on the past"-Is 43:18 I moved forward...realizing that all this is just a shadow of what is to come....the only reality is Christ.


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