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I had a dream....

I closed my eyes and there I was...dreaming.

Roaming the streets of Uganda with kids all around me. It was raining, I heard laughter and I felt the little kids' hands in mine. All of a sudden, out of no where a little boy ran up to me and handed me a little baby wrapped in a tiny kitchen towel, wet and crying. I looked up and the boy was no where to be seen and all of a sudden I was alone with that baby in my arms, praying over it with all my might...

I opened my eyes and saw my ceiling, I was covered in my big blanket with my heart racing. I had a strange emotion come over me. I was sad but hopeful. I was sad because I woke up here, and hopeful because I know my God has bigger plans for me than I have for myself.

I immediately began praying for all of the beautiful people I met in Uganda, all the friendships that were built on nothing but Jesus. All the faces of the sweet children ran across my mind in flashbacks, I just gave them over to Jesus. I prayed for my dear friends whom …

I am His

"The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you His love, He will rejoice over you with singing"-Zephaniah 3:17 

Woke up to the rain drops hitting my window and this truth on my mind.

God wants me to know who I am. I am His. That's all there is to it. He REJOICES over me with gladness. Hard to believe such truth right? I mean, I am a sinner, such a wretched one, but because of what Jesus did for me on the cross, He wiped all that away and God sees me as Holy! ooh that just brings me to the state of adoration for my King.

In Ephesians when Paul prays for the church and  He states: "...the riches of glory of His inheritance in the saints.."-Ephesians 1:18 The saints are those who believe that Jesus did such thing as laying down His life to pay the debt we could not pay ourselves. Who turn away from their old ways and follow Him who saved them-SAINTS! Now read it again..."the RICHES of GLOR…

Faith of a child.

You are where you're supposed to be.

Last night I was babysitting, this morning I was babysitting. I work with children all day, everyday. My life revolves around children.I know each one by name, I know their likes, dislikes, I know their cries and I can tell the difference between a fake cry, boo boo cry or an ashamed cry. It brings me absolute joy to hear them say my name or offer me all sorts of gifts. (rocks, leaves, sand...) I change diapers and I kiss on ouchies, I wipe tears away and I bring a smile to their face. Seriously I have the best job ever.

Life may seem hard, may seem unfair, may seem unforgivable, put a child in front of me, and I see Jesus in them. Don't ask me how or why, I just do. Maybe God knows my happy place, He knows what brightens my day so He shines through kids. I admit kids aren't easy, definitely require a lot of patience, but in the end..looking at a bigger picture- they are just the best.

So it hit me... Just as these kids, they are excite…

Talk to Him.

Talk to Him.

Seems like the answer to everything, as it should be.

Prayer. It is not our last resort if all else fails, it is the first thing we run to. It is not something to take lightly, prayer is powerful.

So many of us have fallen into the trap of thinking that prayer takes so much time, sometimes we sit with God and don't even know what to say to Him. Imagine a friend you have not talked to in a while, isn't awkward when you finally sit down and talk, you try and fish for things to say or you talk about superficial things. Sometimes we treat God that way, if we don't stay in constant communication with Him-meaning reading His word, studying His heart for His children, seeing His love for us-we lose the meaning of the relationship.

Prayer is not asking God to do this or that, it is not trying to convince Him that certain things should be done this way or that way, it's simply praise. It is kneeling before your God and being still soaking in His glory and right…

Floating through life...

wow two posts in one day...never happened before.

But tonight I sit in my room, and probably not to your surprise-next to my giant bear. =)

The fear of the unknown creeps in. I'm literally just floating through life. I quit my OTA program, and right now all I'm doing is just working and taking a math a class. What does the future hold? See, people usually have some sort of a blue print of their life, some kind of an idea of how things are going to go. Me? no clue. Since my heart is so divided between Uganda and Haiti-I am completely unaware of where I'll go next. Since getting back from Haiti-so many organizations popped out of no where, so many opportunities for me to choose from. I've made friends over facebook who are out there serving Christ by loving on the kids and everyone's doors are open for visitors. So I'm seeing a lot of possibilities....in both Africa and Haiti. What am I to do with my life? Right now, I feel like everything has been put on hold. T…

Uncomfortable.

I sit on my bed. With warm blankets and a big bear next to me. My floor is covered with clothes and shoes every where. I hold a cup of warm coffee in my hand. I hear the wind outside, and its a bit cold. I hear the birds and the trees sway, I hear someone mow their lawn.

This is happening now; here. But what is happening in Africa? Haiti? Japan? Afghanistan? Iraq? Israel?

I realize that I am blessed to be where I am, to live where I am and to have what I have. But do I have to be comfortable with it? I see my life and I can't help but be uncomfortable. Everyday is the same. I get up, complain that I have to go to work, then I get home from work and sit some more next to my giant bear and maybe do some homework. What is going on in my thoughts? My heart? I'm not saying for everyone to go sell their stuff and not enjoy the blessings God has poured out on us. What I am saying is at least in our thoughts to acknowledge that there are people less fortunate than us, there are people …

Half of of my heart

"Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time..."-John Mayer

Today I woke up with a terrible ache in my heart. I tired turning it into a prayerful heart, but it is so difficult. When everything in you longs to be somewhere else, it is a painful process.

My dear friend has returned to Haiti today, she was an intern this summer. After she came back she was determined to get back, and by God's grace she did. As I lift up my prayers for her, I can't help but imagine her beaming face when she steps off that plane. I can't help but imagine the smells, the heat, the noise of Haiti. I can't help but imagine the attacks of hugs and kisses at the feeding program today. I can't help but imagine seeing my friends who love Jesus so much....oh how I long to be there.

I keep hearing the words "Be happy where God has you..." (I think I wrote about this in my last blog) so yes, I believe that we are still supposed to bless His n…

84 Thousand...

84 thousand meals. 84 thousand babies fed. 84 thousand families fed. 84 thousand bellies happy.

It blows my mind. Today I got to be a part of the packing food in bags process for the kids in Haiti and Orange County.

3 shifts later, a back ache from carrying containers FULL of food, interacting with strangers who have the same heart as you-we did it. Seeing people come together for the cause of orphans all over the place was beautiful and I felt a little closer to home.

So then coming home from an event like that I got mad. Mad at myself for being so complacent, so comfortable with the way I live. Mad at myself for just floating through life.


Then there is an issue of "first world problems," you see the YouTube videos everywhere...then you see your friends post on Facebook about the most ridiculous problems, how can I not get mad? Today I caught myself...I was doing the dishes and as I was putting them into my dishwasher, and then I realized I ran out of room for my dishes. S…

Heart

Single. Yes, that's me.

No, I'm not against dating. I'm just not too excited for it. For a little while I thought that there was something wrong with me, but then I realized...God has given me different passions for now.

As if right now, I socialize with guys, I have daily conversations with some of the best men you'll ever meet, men that love Jesus and treat me with out most respect-can I see myself with any of them right now? no. I enjoy just talking and hanging out, I'm honestly completely content with having no one right now. Why?





Because lately God has become so real to me, therefore the passions He's given me seem more and more realistic. God is connecting me with people who have the same desires as me-love people, children and the world. That's what I get excited about; making a difference, loving Jesus.



I'm 20 years old, only 20, why do I rush? I mean yes, it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand, and for someone to claim me as theirs, b…

My God is an Awesome God...

Ok, so we all hear "God will never leave you nor forsake you," "God is good," "God is in control," "God has a plan," "God is faithful,".....and the list goes on and on.

When a friend comes to you we don't hesitate to tell them these truths, we've been taught these truths and we hear it said to us all the time. But....

Have you ever stopped to think and really marvel at what you're saying or hearing? I mean, the statements above are THE truths, found in the bible which is breathed by our GOD! I might be getting a little too excited about this, but I can't contain it.

Think about it, GOD-Holy, Righteous, Omnipresent, Supernatural, Creator, King, Just, Merciful, Faithful, Humble...again-the list just goes on and on, this GOD loves me. Are you kidding me? As if I even compare to who He is? no way!

I'm a leader at my church for the High School kids, and our youth pastor taught on the will of God. If I even try to summari…

The question....

"So where will you be going next summer? Haiti or Uganda?" 

A punch in the stomach and heart sinks.

As I share how God has blessed me by taking me to these foreign lands, how He has opened up my heart to the people, how He has put children in my path to love and to care for; people ask this dreaded question that I don't want to answer.

"...which country..?"

I know God is sovereign. I know that He will have me where He needs me. I know He will show me.

In the past I've noticed God doesn't give me clear signs necessarily, but He does bring me to my knees in desperate need of Him. I think that's a beautiful place to be at. Not just when you're lost or confused, but everyday.

For the past couple of weeks, I've been thinking a lot about this most asked question. Honestly, I don't have an answer. I don't know how one decides, or will I even have to choose? Ultimately its what Jesus wants, His will be done. He will tell me where to go.

I adm…

What really matters

Phew. What really matters? Have you sat down and really thought about what matters the most in life? well if you haven't, please do.

To sit in front of my God, to be filled with His joy in me, to live for Him-that's what really matters.

Oh I have been so distracted from this truth, I needed to remember that ALL friendships and relationships are for the glory of God. We're supposed to push one another toward Christ, not ourselves. Seriously guys, who are we to seek our own desires in relationships? why? They never satisfy....

What really matters? Jesus and His people. I know I've written on this topic before but its an area in my life where I know I need a constant reminder that this life IS NOT about me. What am I doing to love God more and His people? woah.

Somewhere along the way I've lost my focus on why God has placed people in our lives, why do we need one another. "Umm Natalia, REFOCUS, wake up." seriously, wake up everyone. Why are we here? Why are…

Idols

Idols..such an ugly word. I've got so many. Lately, God has been showing me my heart, pointing my eyes to my idols. Things I run to for comfort, people I go to for advice, the thoughts I let slip by...it's a mess. It's terrible and ugly...yet forgiven.

What do I worship? Acceptance? Approval? The feeling of being wanted?-check check and sadly check again. In life you will have people praising you, you will have people like you or dislike you, people will admire you...but what is that in comparison to how much God loves you? To how jealous He is when you give your heart to an idol?

Ah the thought literally destroys me. To think that I've got idols that push my Jesus off His throne? How dare I? I mean He only died for me, right? Wow. Daily I am reminded of what I treasure, daily I am reminded how shallow a human being can be and how hard it is to make us all happy. What? Is God not enough? In Colossians 2:10 it says...."you are complete in Him."

It sickens m…

My bracelets, my life...

"Oh where is this one from?"
"How do you make these?"
"Who gave them to you?"
"Why do you have so many?"

Favorite questions.

I wear my bracelets for a reason. Each one has a meaning. It seems silly really, to have so many on at once, but I can't depart from them. Each bracelet stands for something, makes me think of someone who I need to lift up in prayer. A few of them were just bought on the streets, but I remember the face of the woman who I gave money for the bracelets, I remember my surroundings, I remember the smells and I hear the noise-Uganda. One of them was from a friend, and I remember the night it was given to me-Haiti.

I wear 8 bracelets on my left wrist and one long one on my right, all a mix from both countries that have captured my heart...

How do you live here while longing to be there? Its beyond me.

The bracelets are great conversation starters. I get to talk about Jesus everyday, I get to share His love for the people…

Matthew 18:20

"....For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."



 "Hello all,
Much prayer is needed for heartbreaking situations here in Haiti in the Child Hope Community. Top on my list is the possible destructive hurricane due to land here possibly Friday eve. There are many that won't even know there is a storm and preparation is so limited here. We will be safe in our strong stone homes with a generator and food but , most of Haiti will not.Many tent city families will be in the path of the torential
rain which causes mud slides and winds that will blow away  tents and weak structures. Child Hope if needed will offer shelter at the feeding program shelter.
We ask for limited damage, safety, provision to get food and water and the Lords protection for all.

Second prayer request : A little girl that comes to the feeding program is abused by her father and recently whipped her in the face with his belt when she asked for food and water. She is looked after…

You give and take away....

....and I will chose to say "Blessed be Your name."

Sunday service wasn't the same without the loud Ugandan music, people dancing, kids on every side, and a lot of clapping. It wasn't the same.

Just seven days ago, my feet were covered in red dirt. Just seven days ago I loved on Grace, I watched a little girl get on her knees, with arms raised high praying for me at my feet. Just served days ago...

It's sinking in...I'm not where I want to be. I'm not doing what I want to do. God has given me the people to love and He's taken it away once again. First my beautiful Haiti, now this...yet I will chose to say "Blessed be Your name."

Although it is hard...I must. I must not get so wrapped up into what I can't do now and where I can't be now that I forget my mission field right here, right where I live. I must not love my people in Uganda and Haiti so much that I forget to love the people right in front of me. I must not get so dissatis…

Taking off

Customs, bag checks, lines, the usual airport stuff. Finally boarding the plane, sitting down, surrounded by Ugandans...it was good. I felt like I was keeping myself together.

Taking off.

What a fool. I lost it. As if it finally clicked in my heart that I was leaving...again. Leaving everything I've fallen in love with. All the people. Here we go again...that familiar pain.

"Daughter, remember I will restore you" -God spoke to my heart. Through my dear friend Nicole God wiped my tears away, reassuring me that He has great plans for me.

I sat back and thanked Him. Praised Him.

Now I await to see my family that I love, I can't wait to share my experience with them. Praying that they will be blessed as much as I was.

Thank you everyone for supporting me and sending me! You all made my trip possible, all of you are just as part of this beautiful journey as I am! May you be blessed!

<3 Nat

The pursuit of happiness

Nicole- a woman with a HUGE compassionate heart, on a search for her little boy that she sponsors. Never gave up. Didn't give in. We found the boy named Daniel with in an hour. Blessed? I think so. The village was full of kids to whom we gave candy and dresses. Each child was so happy...all because God called Nicole to find Daniel. Through one person, God blessed a lot of little children and the rest of us.

The mother was beyond thankful, smiles everywhere, hugs and so much love. Blessed. Heck yes.

Raining Hope is the orphanage where I felt so at home. Bonding with the girls was the best. Nikity, Rita, Esther, and Maria. <3 It was the perfect way to end my time in Uganda. Praying this isn't the last time I see my friends. We played games, we kicked a soccer ball around...which wasn't much of a ball, deflated, with holes in it, but it was a blast. Laughter, Joy and Love.

Leaving was them was hard. But I love them and they will be in my heart forever.






On my knees

On her knees she was praising and praying. On her knees, at my feet she raised her little hands and prayed.

That's where I need to belong. On my knees at my Saviors feet. Faith of a child.

Today I had to say goodbye to the kids I've grown to love so much. I heard for the last time "Jesus loves you Natalia." I heard for the last time "I love you." Felt that familiar ache. Just like the one when I left home and Haiti.

Short term mission trips break you over and over, all different hurts. You hurt for them because they are so in need of Jesus. So in need of love. Being here and being able to be used by God to provide both of those needs has been a tremendous blessing. Then you begin to feel a different kind of hurt, the kind where you see some other needs and you know you can't do anything about right now. You then feel the kind of hurt that requires you to say goodbye. Your heart begins to break. Not just in half, but over every child and each relation…

Jesus loves you...

"Jesus loves you Natalia"-says the Witch doctor's daughter Grace. The first sunday we met her, she was rough, she was mean, and a bully. She stole things from the kids, she bragged, she got so comfortable with us that she would just say "you give me water" or "you give me__________" fill in the blank. This child was not so pleasant to be around. But with a little bit of discipline and love now she is a different child.
Grace, beautiful little girl, who so desperately needs love. Not my love only, but His love. She has 2 brothers who are theives, and I am pretty sure they teach her to steal. The children in the village call her "Mzungu" which you all know means "white person." So you can see why she's the way she is. She however, doesn't miss a sunday in church, she wants to find Jesus.

Grace makes my day now, she runs up to me and tells me "Jesus loves you Natalia, I love you Natalia." I repeat those same words t…

Nostalgia...

Psalm 27:10 "Though my father and my mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me."

I shared my testimony with the women today. It brought me back to the past...

Watching these kids run around, listening to the teen girls talk about how their moms and dads left them...kept bringing back memories of my own past. I got a chance to share how God received me, how God healed me, and how God has transfomed me. My small group was a lot more open with me, because we had a lot to talk about. Their beautiful brown faces starred at me as I was talking about how I learned to call God my Father. They listened to me as I talked about how Jesus healed my heart, and we prayed for one another.

"I love you, I will miss you, you have blessed me so much"-said a girl in the pink sweatshirt. I don't recall her name, but she was a beautiful young lady, maybe 15 years of age. Living in an ophanage with 26 other people in the house. Joyful, happy and bubbly gal. Literally brought me to…

Everything you've got

Big brown eyes, little hands, dirty with the Ugandan red dirt, holes in his shirt and pants, barefoot-walks through the doors of the church we do VBS at, as we mark the kids to keep track of them he opens the palm of his hand and I see 250 shillings. (worth 10 cents maybe) Probably thinking he had to pay to get in so he brought what he could. Nicole and I knelt down so he can see our eyes, closed the his hands, gave him a kiss and welcomed him into VBS.

This image is forever engraved in my heart...offering everything you've got just to hear the word of God. He couldn't have been any older than 4. I was tearing up as we let each child walk in, hugging them and loving on them. I couldn't do anything else but praise God for allowing me to take part in all of this.

Debira was her name...
After Jodi and Nicole taught at the Women's conference, teaching about forgiveness. Debira was the quiet one in our group. The leader asked her "is there anyone in your life that yo…

KIDS EVERYWHERE.

Chaos, chaos, chaos...pretty much described today. yet, I had a blast.

Guys how many kids heard the gospel and got fed today at VBS? ----- 620.

I had so much fun.

Today was a great day also because I made some friends...Vicky, Connie and Sarah. My age girls, we have so much in common and we had some really good conversations. All day we hung out together, joked around, sang song about Jesus, shared our desires for our future, learned about each others cultures...ahh it was beautiful!

Please be praying for my new friends, that they would strive to know Jesus more and more each day! That they would give all their worries and burdens to Him. Pray that Jesus would protect their hearts!!

Favorite noise: kids singing Jesus songs, and walking into the church or just walking through the village, hearing the kids shout my name and shower me with love and hugs. FAVORITE!!!!
Jesus Loves ME!

Sarah, Me, Connie, and Vicky <3

I've got Joy, Joy...

"I've got joy joy  down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart. Where? Down in my heart..."
This morning at church this little girl sat next to me, as we danced to the Ugandan worship music she motioned for me to come close to her face, and she whispered "I love you" I couldn't help but kiss her all over, literally exploding with joy. Then she preceded to sing in my ear "I've got joy" with her broken English. heart melter!!

Church in Uganda is like a big dance party for Jesus, honestly I got a glimpse of heaven dancing and worshiping with the people of Kakira-which is a village near Jinja. It was a blessing to hug and love on those kids. The smell was awful, the kids were dirty as can be, loud as can be, bare footed, clothes with holes...but it was heaven. Their little hands in mine, one child on each side, one on my lap, three behind me playing with my hair...seriously? Words cannot even convey how I felt at that moment.

Leaka-a 6 year old boy…

Beyond blessed

Two boys and a baby goat completely distracted me from what I was planning to do...thank God.

Hassan and Ashfal just finished with their daily chores saw us Mzungus and offered to take us to go see the Nile river. With no hesitation we said "lead the way." My prayer was the same "Jesus, lead the way." As we walked with the two boys, we learned about their family, their dreams, their likes and dislikes, and learned about their church.

Hassan really touched my heart. I don't know what it is, but his quiet, gentle spirit was so touching. He held my head the whole way back as we joked around and talked about God.

After leaving the boys, we felt compelled to do something for them. My friend and I went and bought some rice, beans and bread. Then we got some clothes for them and in the evening we took it all to them. The family was so blessed, beaming with smiles, and so thankful that we took the time to come back. We took pictures, and then they invited us into th…

All for You

Letting go of the familiar and stepping out with no expectations.

As I gave my family hugs at LAX, something inside began to break, I started to cry. I cried because I was leaving everything familiar to me, things that I was comfortable with, and stepping out and doing something I've never done before. I also realized that its going to be just me and God. That's the place I long to be, yet it was with great difficulty that I had to let go.

My team is amazing, each one is different and unique with their own God written stories; we were beautifully brought together for one reason-to serve Him and to bring Him glory. I can't wait to serve God as we get to know one another.

Traveling. Oh goodness, I've missed the thrill. I've missed the craziness. so 10 hours to London, 3 hour lay over, and 8 hours to Uganda-I'm here. Then we all pile into a small van with all of our luggage, and we're off, 4 hours later we arrive at the hotel- Paradise on the Nile.

During …

GO

Today's the day! UGANDA here we come! I am beyond excited, yet nervous and anxious to see what Jesus does. Thank you again for all your prayers and support, I thank God for all of you! I am so overwhelmed by all the love that you guys pour out onto me! thank you!!

As I'm spending the few last hours at home, I  keep trying to imagine what the trip will be like, but I can't even begin to imagine. Literally I have no clue what it is going to be like. I mean I have an idea, but since when are my ideas even close to Gods?

Although I am nervous and anxious, I have peace, I know for certain this is what God wants me to do.

I am made for this.

"GO therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit; Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, I am with you ALWAYS, even to the end of time." -Matthew 28:19-20.

"Now that I have seen I am responsible...."

I have no choice…

To say goodbye

With being adventurous comes one thing that I hate the most...goodbyes. Think about it? Before you leave on your adventure you say goodbye to the people you see every single day, who know you, who love you, and whom you love back tremendously. Then you go off, the wild heart you are, enjoying every moment God gives you, and then BAM, another goodbye. You say goodbye to the new experiences, new precious faces, and new loves. It is beyond heartbreaking. My trip to Haiti tore me apart. I don't know what this trip will do to me, but I know Jesus will put me together again.

Today however, was really hard. To say goodbye to the little kids you take care of every single day...phew. My awesome co-worker whom I consider one of my dearest friends now, decorated our classroom for me. She got the kids all excited and when I walked in this morning they all yelled "happy birthday miss Talia"-not knowing that it was a going away party, they smiled and hugged me. It was perfect. In the…

More Than You Can Handle

‘Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle.’
People repeat this frequently; I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now. It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true.
But I don’t.
I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives.
I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this ‘more than I can handle.’ Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me.God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives.
And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with jo…

Psalm 63:1-5- seeking Him.

I will let the scriptures speak today...

O God, you are my God,
I earnestly seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is not water.


I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with the
richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.


Psalm 63:1-5

Surrendered.

Surrender. Interesting thought. To surrender is to give up or abandon. OK, so we're supposed to surrender our lives to God...hmm so we're supposed to give up our worries, our pains, our stress, our plans, our desires, our everything-we're supposed to abandon ourselves. Why do I always insist on trying to handle life on my own? I've got a God who cares for ALL of my needs "Give all your worries and cares to God, for He CARES for you"-1Peter 5:7, who knows my future "For I know the plans I have for you"-says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."Jeremiah 29:11-He's the one who planned it. I've got a God who calls me to Him-"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I WILL give you rest. take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY TO BEAR, AND THE BURDEN I GIV…

count your blessings...

Everyone always says "count your blessings." What does that really mean? In the chaos of this life? Being surrounded with friends whose lives are crumbling to the ground? With knowing of the things that are going on in the world, how do you "count your blessings?"
Easy. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to His goodness through out the day. Honestly, the smallest things make me smile and thank my God. Lately I've been seeing how the way I am living actually makes a difference in other peoples lives. Example: a 7 year old girl had to write a paper about who she thinks is "stong and courageous" and she wrote about me. I was so honored. If I can affect one life-the travel, the heat, the dirt and the smell is all worth it to me.
Another example: God has been providing. I needed finances for my next mission trip and God has been providing so much. It seems like that's been the theme of this month. "My God is the God who provides." I am also ble…

While Im waiting....

To be quite honest, ever since I got back I've been living here half hearted. My heart has been broken into so many pieces and Haiti has them all. My first week back has been the toughest. I know that God is teaching me and molding me into the person He wants me to be. He is also shaping my future.

This week the memories have been randomly flashing throug my mind like a movie, it's non-stop. I dont like to sit alone in my room because all I see are the faces of the kids, all I hear are the voices of the creole language and the loud praises to my God. I cry because my heart aches to be there with them, and then I smile because I was priviliged to experience it. I've been praying and leaning on God so much, I cling to His truths and His promises and I find comfort in Him alone. He gets me through the day!

I know God has wonderful plans for me. As I am preparing for Uganda and am trying to focus on that, I've been getting more and more excited. I've been privilaged t…

Majestic obsession

Two weeks ago I left my home and everyone I loved to go to Haiti once again. What a trip. God did a lot in my heart through the people of Haiti, its pretty much unbelievable and man was it painful. Words can not describe how incredible the trip was. Stepping off that plane I instantly felt at home, as if I never left. However, no matter how at home I felt God began to mold my heart and show me all the dirt. Not a fan. He was teaching me how to love, all over again. Don't you hate it when you think you've mastered something, and then you realize you don't have the slightest clue? Yep, thats exactly what happened. God showed me how angry and bitter I was toward some people who I claimed I "loved." How could I go to a different country and show the kind of love I should be showing at home? It didn't make sense to me. After much prayer and laying down my pride, I broke down and begged God to clense me, to restore me and to show me love again. Because God is faith…

Radical, Different, Extraordinary....still exists.

OH MY WORD! God has presented to me something HUGE. Oh top of going to Haiti in June, I have also been given an opportunity to go to Uganda with Unchanging Truth Ministry International. Being all caught up in the excitement I said "YES," and then someone really close to me made me think about it more, research it more and basically just use my brain. Well, I did that....God has reassured me that this is what His plans for me are. I am nervous, scared, speechless, overwhelmed-yet at peace. I am stressing out about the details, but over all I am ecstatic to see what God has in store for me.
I am reading "Kisses from Katie" by Katie Davies a girl who moved to Uganda when she was 18 and has been living there, she started an orphanage there, and now has 14 children that she has adopted. (i began reading this book a few months ago) I've always admired her! She has relied on God for everything, and when she didn't God opened her eyes! She has a huge heart for the…

AWAKE AND ALIVE once again.

Seriously! Growth-what an adventure. I honestly think that so far this year, God has grown me more than ever. Tonight God has awakened me.
I've realized that recently Ive been held back from God by my pain and pride. I think that God finally is breaking me down and it feels ok. I am at peace because I know that God is holding me. Tonight He did some major truth slapping in the face and convicting yet always reminding me that He has me right where He needs me....on my knees crying out to Him.
God is definitely teaching me to love, to forgive and to guard my heart-all this is not easy.
My focus has been regained and I am alive once again!
Tonight God has been so specific with what I need to do, He is definitely not a God confusion. I am ALIVE and AWAKE!

LET NOT THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD EVER SWAY ME!

Prayer much needed!

I am free.

People. Life. Its a crazy ride. We as individuals have no contorl of what other people do or don't, but we often times forget that we're definitely in control of our own attitudes and our own actions. Why is that? We tend to give power to people over our emotions and actions, that's crazy.
For the past couple of months Gods been preparing my heart for something...something big. I had no idea what it was until it hit me...and boy did it hit hard.
What Im learning is that people will do what they want, and just because they are not doing what you're expecting them too doesn't mean they are the ones that are lost. I've realized that we as human beings tend to get so lost in what others are doing, and we forget about what we should be doing. What about love? What about perseverance? What about flexibility? yeahh...God's been showing me that none of that has been happening in my lfie.
So during this hard thing that I am dealing with, God's been quiet just…