Skip to main content

You give and take away....

....and I will chose to say "Blessed be Your name."

Sunday service wasn't the same without the loud Ugandan music, people dancing, kids on every side, and a lot of clapping. It wasn't the same.

Just seven days ago, my feet were covered in red dirt. Just seven days ago I loved on Grace, I watched a little girl get on her knees, with arms raised high praying for me at my feet. Just served days ago...

It's sinking in...I'm not where I want to be. I'm not doing what I want to do. God has given me the people to love and He's taken it away once again. First my beautiful Haiti, now this...yet I will chose to say "Blessed be Your name."

Although it is hard...I must. I must not get so wrapped up into what I can't do now and where I can't be now that I forget my mission field right here, right where I live. I must not love my people in Uganda and Haiti so much that I forget to love the people right in front of me. I must not get so dissatisfied with where I'm at that I become ineffective for His kingdom here. I must not.

I must pray. I must give Him praise. I must lift His name higher. I must cling to Him tighter.

Yes He gives-He gave me the kids and the people to fall in love with. He's been opening my heart for the people of the world to fall in. And yes He takes away-at the moment, I can't hear their voices an i can't see their faces. I can't heart their hearts, but I can lift their names to Jesus.

Today was a bit tough. A lot tough. Memories flood my mind and my heart aches...


  1. Replies
    1. eduardo! Thank you so much for reading my blogs! It really makes me happy! God bless your soul!

  2. I'm struggling with the same thing especially with the mission that is all around me. Thanks for posting this!


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I'm not proverbs thirty one

Have you ever read Proverbs 31? 

It describes a woman who is intimidating to me, yet I aspire to be. If you ever have time, read the chapter, if not, I'll break it down for you. In this chapter King Lemuel meaning "devoted to God" wrote a passage that was almost a perfect description of his mother, some say he was inspired by her wisdom. His mother, Bathsheba made her wisdom very evident when she was basically telling her son "not to fall into the trap of immorality, chasing after women will sap a king's strength. (Proverbs 31:3) I can only draw my own assumptions that Lemuel was inspired by that saying and wrote up a whole chapter based on what a woman of virtue should look like. I won't quote the chapter in this blog, although I must have read it three or four times tonight, and had it basically memorized at some point in high school, however I'll attempt to simplify with my such minuscule concoction of words.  

So, what is a Proverbs 31 woman? 
She is tr…

It's real

Depression- the word is either used too much or not enough. 

Upon hearing that someone may be depressed, some just look the other way as if it's not real, as if it's a trend or not as bad as the guy next door. Some may treat it with medication, therapy, and may even suggest medidation. 

I heard a statistic from 2013, that 437 children die from cancer, that is one too many, and 4,600 individuals ages 10-24 will take their own lives. I am one hundred percent positive the numbers have increased since, sadly. So. Are we judging too quickly when some one may be depressed? Are we shrugging it off as if it's not a thing. Let me tell you something...

Unless you have mentally experienced the battles a depressed person fights- you have no say. Unless you have felt your own heart beat fasten it's pace because your lungs are trying to grasp for air due to heavy tear flow that became silent- you can not point fingers. Unless you felt the utter darkness that surrounds the mind and the …

Jason Walker's Song

writer's block-
1. the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing. 
so read between the lines of a song that's on repeat and won't let me sleep. 

I don't know where I'm at
I'm standing at the back
And I'm tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I'm missing way too much
So when do I give up what I've been wishing for.

I shot for the sky
I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.
Oh I am going down, down, down
I can't find another way around
And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I…