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Showing posts from October, 2012

Floating through life...

wow two posts in one day...never happened before.

But tonight I sit in my room, and probably not to your surprise-next to my giant bear. =)

The fear of the unknown creeps in. I'm literally just floating through life. I quit my OTA program, and right now all I'm doing is just working and taking a math a class. What does the future hold? See, people usually have some sort of a blue print of their life, some kind of an idea of how things are going to go. Me? no clue. Since my heart is so divided between Uganda and Haiti-I am completely unaware of where I'll go next. Since getting back from Haiti-so many organizations popped out of no where, so many opportunities for me to choose from. I've made friends over facebook who are out there serving Christ by loving on the kids and everyone's doors are open for visitors. So I'm seeing a lot of possibilities....in both Africa and Haiti. What am I to do with my life? Right now, I feel like everything has been put on hold. T…

Uncomfortable.

I sit on my bed. With warm blankets and a big bear next to me. My floor is covered with clothes and shoes every where. I hold a cup of warm coffee in my hand. I hear the wind outside, and its a bit cold. I hear the birds and the trees sway, I hear someone mow their lawn.

This is happening now; here. But what is happening in Africa? Haiti? Japan? Afghanistan? Iraq? Israel?

I realize that I am blessed to be where I am, to live where I am and to have what I have. But do I have to be comfortable with it? I see my life and I can't help but be uncomfortable. Everyday is the same. I get up, complain that I have to go to work, then I get home from work and sit some more next to my giant bear and maybe do some homework. What is going on in my thoughts? My heart? I'm not saying for everyone to go sell their stuff and not enjoy the blessings God has poured out on us. What I am saying is at least in our thoughts to acknowledge that there are people less fortunate than us, there are people …

Half of of my heart

"Half of my heart's got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time..."-John Mayer

Today I woke up with a terrible ache in my heart. I tired turning it into a prayerful heart, but it is so difficult. When everything in you longs to be somewhere else, it is a painful process.

My dear friend has returned to Haiti today, she was an intern this summer. After she came back she was determined to get back, and by God's grace she did. As I lift up my prayers for her, I can't help but imagine her beaming face when she steps off that plane. I can't help but imagine the smells, the heat, the noise of Haiti. I can't help but imagine the attacks of hugs and kisses at the feeding program today. I can't help but imagine seeing my friends who love Jesus so much....oh how I long to be there.

I keep hearing the words "Be happy where God has you..." (I think I wrote about this in my last blog) so yes, I believe that we are still supposed to bless His n…

84 Thousand...

84 thousand meals. 84 thousand babies fed. 84 thousand families fed. 84 thousand bellies happy.

It blows my mind. Today I got to be a part of the packing food in bags process for the kids in Haiti and Orange County.

3 shifts later, a back ache from carrying containers FULL of food, interacting with strangers who have the same heart as you-we did it. Seeing people come together for the cause of orphans all over the place was beautiful and I felt a little closer to home.

So then coming home from an event like that I got mad. Mad at myself for being so complacent, so comfortable with the way I live. Mad at myself for just floating through life.


Then there is an issue of "first world problems," you see the YouTube videos everywhere...then you see your friends post on Facebook about the most ridiculous problems, how can I not get mad? Today I caught myself...I was doing the dishes and as I was putting them into my dishwasher, and then I realized I ran out of room for my dishes. S…

Heart

Single. Yes, that's me.

No, I'm not against dating. I'm just not too excited for it. For a little while I thought that there was something wrong with me, but then I realized...God has given me different passions for now.

As if right now, I socialize with guys, I have daily conversations with some of the best men you'll ever meet, men that love Jesus and treat me with out most respect-can I see myself with any of them right now? no. I enjoy just talking and hanging out, I'm honestly completely content with having no one right now. Why?





Because lately God has become so real to me, therefore the passions He's given me seem more and more realistic. God is connecting me with people who have the same desires as me-love people, children and the world. That's what I get excited about; making a difference, loving Jesus.



I'm 20 years old, only 20, why do I rush? I mean yes, it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand, and for someone to claim me as theirs, b…