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Showing posts from January, 2013

It's a beaufitul struggle...

"Why do we think if we trust God too much He will fail us, nothing has come when I chose its that in me I'd trust.."- Barlow Girl

Oh God I underestimate you.

During my prayer time this beautiful morning, I realized I doubt God so much. I underestimate Him. I put Him in a box of a human being mentality.

Overall, I'd like to think of myself as a positive person, I try and look at things or people with great possibility. People are capable of achieving anything they put their minds to. People are never too far gone from God's grace, and a person no matter where he/she has been deserves love. However, looking at my own life, I don't have that kind of outlook. I see more negativity than positivity. I tend to focus on why certain things will not work out instead of focusing on how things will work out.

I also look at things through my false human eyes, when God wants me to open my eyes and heart to His glorious and majestic ways. I so often forget His will, His pow…

I didn't intend on getting attached...

Yesterday I get in my car and drive away from the place I fell in love with...my job. Weird right? People don't usually love their jobs, I did...with all my heart.

As I got in the car I turned on 95.9-The fish radio...and this is what I hear "Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope. You're gonna do great things, I already know. God's got His hands on you, so don't live life in fear..." I looked up and said "This is from you God." 

I don't know where I'm going or what exactly I am going to do. Financially it will be difficult, but "be strong in the Lord and never give up hope.." rings in my ears.

My job consisted of taking care of children all day every day. Feeding, diapers, playing, sleeping-the normal stuff. For a year and a half, that's all I did every single day. Not to mention, the people I grew to love...that's tough. I mean it's not like I will never see them again, it's just not the same. I used to see …

Two things...

Two things: I have begun to worship and I've got three homes so far.

Let me explain number one. I have begun to worship- first let me ask you a question. What or who are we supposed to worship? Come on Saints, you all know the Sunday school answer-Jesus. That's the truth. However, I've noticed something in myself lately, my worship has shifted. I have begun to worship the idea of helping the poor, being the "savior," loving on the needy and the children of the world. You are probably a bit confused by this right now, I mean we are supposed to love the poor, help them, and pray for them. But who ultimately does the work? Who ultimately deserves all the credit? God. IF I do any good on this earth it is because He has allowed me to, any desire I have to help, it is all because He has put it there first. Nothing of my doing will save a person, God must do the work while using me. What I love most is being in dirtiness of a human being, I love being in the midst of co…