Skip to main content

Two things...

Two things: I have begun to worship and I've got three homes so far.

Let me explain number one. I have begun to worship- first let me ask you a question. What or who are we supposed to worship? Come on Saints, you all know the Sunday school answer-Jesus. That's the truth. However, I've noticed something in myself lately, my worship has shifted. I have begun to worship the idea of helping the poor, being the "savior," loving on the needy and the children of the world. You are probably a bit confused by this right now, I mean we are supposed to love the poor, help them, and pray for them. But who ultimately does the work? Who ultimately deserves all the credit? God. IF I do any good on this earth it is because He has allowed me to, any desire I have to help, it is all because He has put it there first. Nothing of my doing will save a person, God must do the work while using me. What I love most is being in dirtiness of a human being, I love being in the midst of complete desperation, I love to pick up kids who have nothing but a rag on with holes. But I cant let myself shift my worship. Ultimately, at the end of the day, its about God. That's who I should worship, which then will turn into service which then will turn into doing what I love most because He has put that in my heart.

Now time for number two, the hardest one to even try and talk about. Three homes, Haiti, Uganda and Here. I've got friends from all over doing all kinds of amazing things in all of these places. The emotions are insanely different. I am thrilled for them, I am so excited that they are being used by Jesus. My friends get to love on the unlovable, the uncared for-as long as those kids get love, praise God. However, as I watch them I struggle. Why not me? Why am I not the one breathing the foreign air, hearing the foreign language, or holding a child close? As much as I struggle I cling to Him. I cling to the only thing that seem so sure, the only one whose promises never fail me...Jesus. As I delight in Him, He will give me the desires of my heart.
Watching my dear dear friends travel to the places where my heart so longs to be is a healing process. I feel like my heart is being broken all over again but I know God restores. Once again, this brings me to my knees calling out for my Savior.

Don't ever let your worship be shifted from the One who deserve all the glory. Don't forget His promises. Kneel before Him.


Popular posts from this blog

I'm not proverbs thirty one

Have you ever read Proverbs 31? 

It describes a woman who is intimidating to me, yet I aspire to be. If you ever have time, read the chapter, if not, I'll break it down for you. In this chapter King Lemuel meaning "devoted to God" wrote a passage that was almost a perfect description of his mother, some say he was inspired by her wisdom. His mother, Bathsheba made her wisdom very evident when she was basically telling her son "not to fall into the trap of immorality, chasing after women will sap a king's strength. (Proverbs 31:3) I can only draw my own assumptions that Lemuel was inspired by that saying and wrote up a whole chapter based on what a woman of virtue should look like. I won't quote the chapter in this blog, although I must have read it three or four times tonight, and had it basically memorized at some point in high school, however I'll attempt to simplify with my such minuscule concoction of words.  

So, what is a Proverbs 31 woman? 
She is tr…

and the dust on my feet

From LAX to Dubai to Entebbe- here walking around in my beloved red dirt Uganda. Nothing seemed real until that plane brought me to this country. The plane wheels hit the ground and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. 

For so long, I have been so angry at God for giving this love for the nations, and then not opening any doors. Only to realize, that I needed growth, I needed to turn to Him fully, only to understand that He needed me somewhere else at the time. As I looked out the window through my teary eyes, I heard Him say "See, I got you back here." I felt a sense of relief, I felt as if this was what I needed from Him, to finally feel Him. 

Stepping out of the plane, the instant smell of Uganda hit my senses and my heart began to race. Feeling all sorts of emotions, I took my first step onto Uganda. My heart was full with joy. 

Getting all thirty of our checked in bags was already a challenge, patience was much needed. Sweat dripping down my neck, hunger in my tummy, …

shattered pieces of my heart

"break my heart for what breaks yours.." 

A song we sing at church. Are we crazy to sing a song that literally asks God to break our hearts for what breaks His? 

I've been on a lot of trips before, visiting the poverty, seeing the starving eyes, and holding the sickest of babies. Each trip opens my eyes more and more, and breaks my heart even on a greater scale. 

Today was a hard day for me. So many times during the day I wanted to burst into tears, I felt helpless, I felt and overwhelming wave of so much heartbreak, I think I actually heard my heart shatter to pieces. 

During worship, having a baby tied to my back the Ugandan style, I stood in front of the crowd and watched these kids barefoot, dirty clothes, teared t-shirts jump up and down praising God. In my mind I think "what do you have to praise them for?" Then Janet's words resonated "If you're alive, that is a reason in itself to be praising God." I had tears rolling down my face as I clo…