Skip to main content


The moment you feel something and your heart skips a few beats, the moment you see something and you can feel your heart break in two and then as you begin to think about it, your heart breaks into many little pieces... yet the thought of that something is keeping your heart beating...with all it's broken pieces. 

What's your heartbeat? What makes your heart race? What makes you want to just drop everything and follow the beat of your heart?

I do know that the heart is evil and it can not be trusted, but when the heartbeat is from God, there's nothing that can stop it from beating.

The world. The children. The families struggling to provide. The need for guidance.

Here and around the world. I have been learning something really important lately. My dream ever since I could remember is to start an orphanage...God has been challenging me. There are so many orphans out there...I've seen the numbers, I've seen the faces...but what I have failed to see are the faces of the families who are so in love with their kids but they just don't have enough resources to provide for them. What about them?

My mind, my world- has been so small. If I want to make any lasting changes, I must start with loving the family, caring for the family. I am certainly not saying, stop loving on the orphans-but as you do that, involve the community.

I feel as if in 3rd world countries, white people are the hero's, we make things better. No. We do not. We sometimes come in and with our actions say "you can't do it, I know how, let me." Instead of saying "Let me help you right where you're at." By our standards, living a circular hut with no lights, a roof that is leaking- that is not an acceptable place for the kids to live in, however that is all they have. So our job should be- to come a long side of the family, help...key word right here HELP and fix up the roof, train the parents in some vocational skills, offer to watch the children while they learn/work. 

This isn't just for the 3rd world country world- its for here as well. So many parents can't afford day care, nor do they have degrees, some by choice some not, and we don't do anything about it. Gosh, I just love the the world and I absolutely despise it. Our culture, (this doesn't just happen here) is so focused on "Me, myself and I." Its sickening.

That is my heartbeat. That is what breaks my heart yet continues to beat with all it's broken pieces.


Popular posts from this blog

It's real

Depression- the word is either used too much or not enough. 

Upon hearing that someone may be depressed, some just look the other way as if it's not real, as if it's a trend or not as bad as the guy next door. Some may treat it with medication, therapy, and may even suggest medidation. 

I heard a statistic from 2013, that 437 children die from cancer, that is one too many, and 4,600 individuals ages 10-24 will take their own lives. I am one hundred percent positive the numbers have increased since, sadly. So. Are we judging too quickly when some one may be depressed? Are we shrugging it off as if it's not a thing. Let me tell you something...

Unless you have mentally experienced the battles a depressed person fights- you have no say. Unless you have felt your own heart beat fasten it's pace because your lungs are trying to grasp for air due to heavy tear flow that became silent- you can not point fingers. Unless you felt the utter darkness that surrounds the mind and the …

I'm not proverbs thirty one

Have you ever read Proverbs 31? 

It describes a woman who is intimidating to me, yet I aspire to be. If you ever have time, read the chapter, if not, I'll break it down for you. In this chapter King Lemuel meaning "devoted to God" wrote a passage that was almost a perfect description of his mother, some say he was inspired by her wisdom. His mother, Bathsheba made her wisdom very evident when she was basically telling her son "not to fall into the trap of immorality, chasing after women will sap a king's strength. (Proverbs 31:3) I can only draw my own assumptions that Lemuel was inspired by that saying and wrote up a whole chapter based on what a woman of virtue should look like. I won't quote the chapter in this blog, although I must have read it three or four times tonight, and had it basically memorized at some point in high school, however I'll attempt to simplify with my such minuscule concoction of words.  

So, what is a Proverbs 31 woman? 
She is tr…

and the dust on my feet

From LAX to Dubai to Entebbe- here walking around in my beloved red dirt Uganda. Nothing seemed real until that plane brought me to this country. The plane wheels hit the ground and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. 

For so long, I have been so angry at God for giving this love for the nations, and then not opening any doors. Only to realize, that I needed growth, I needed to turn to Him fully, only to understand that He needed me somewhere else at the time. As I looked out the window through my teary eyes, I heard Him say "See, I got you back here." I felt a sense of relief, I felt as if this was what I needed from Him, to finally feel Him. 

Stepping out of the plane, the instant smell of Uganda hit my senses and my heart began to race. Feeling all sorts of emotions, I took my first step onto Uganda. My heart was full with joy. 

Getting all thirty of our checked in bags was already a challenge, patience was much needed. Sweat dripping down my neck, hunger in my tummy, …