Skip to main content

Being Jonah

The book of Jonah- wow. Everyone has heard the story. God calls Jonah to Nineveh to share the Word because the city was full of wickedness and God wanted to destroy it, Jonah refused; instead He went to Tarshish to run away from God. Silly Jonah, silly me. Jonahs disobedience causes a huge storm to rage and whoever he was traveling with was distraught and all began to call out to their own gods. What did Jonah do? He went down to the lowest parts of the ship and went to sleep. Really?
So the solution to the raging storm was to throw Jonah overboard, then he ended up in a belly of a fish for three days. If that doesn't cause you to surrender I don't know what will. So Jonah finally surrenders and decides to obey the Lord. He goes to Ninevah and preaches, they turn away from their own ways and turn to God. The process was smooth and Jonah was angry because God decided to have compassion. See, Jonah knew the character of God, He knew God was a merciful and compassionate God- He believed with His whole heart that God was not going to destroy the city.

Jonah was missing the point. All God wanted was to use him as a tool to grow the city of Nineveh, He wanted Jonah to care for it.

Being Jonah this week, I understand the story more deeply. I know the feeling of not wanting to do something, but knowing that it is the will of God. Why do you think Jonah went to take a nap during the storm? Because He knew God, He just didn't want to obey. But as soon as Jonah committed to the Lord and obeyed things changed.

This week an opportunity was presented to me to go back to where I was born for the summer. I battled, I struggled, I was upset. My biological dad asked me to come to be a nanny to my baby sister, he was willing to pay for my trip too. Knowing in my heart that going would be  the right thing to do, everything in my disobedient heart said "NO." I didn't want to face the person who left me, who caused so much pain in my life, who caused a lot of issues in my life with which I will never stop dealing with. I began to worry and question Gods will. I was giving up my babies in Uganda to go to a place I didn't care about anymore.

In the end, just like Jonah-minus being trapped in a fish, I was in my room, couldn't sleep, tossing and turning- i gave up. I gave up all the control, I gave up the worry. I gave up on trying to figure things out, and I gave it all over to God. I prayed specifically for a major sign, for my passport to work out smoothly, if everything was going to go through smoothly, I would submit to His will, trust and obey. The next morning I called, and a door just slammed shut. I couldn't get a Visa and a new passport would take 3 months to get.

Lesson? Obedience. Be willing to be His tool wherever He sends you. Anytime I would go to Haiti or Uganda, the desire was always there, my heart was always in it, I was excited. So I assumed that God doesn't call you to do something you don't want. But I was wrong. He calls you to obey no matter, because in the end there is always a lesson to be learned.

Now, I am not going to Russia, and as far as my Uganda trip- I am praying about it. I don't know if this experience was to close the doors to Uganda as well. I can sit all day and think of the "maybes' of life, and the "whys" or the "what ifs" but I won't. I will just be open to what God calls me to do.

Being Jonah wasn't fun.

Trust and obey guys.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I'm not proverbs thirty one

Have you ever read Proverbs 31? 

It describes a woman who is intimidating to me, yet I aspire to be. If you ever have time, read the chapter, if not, I'll break it down for you. In this chapter King Lemuel meaning "devoted to God" wrote a passage that was almost a perfect description of his mother, some say he was inspired by her wisdom. His mother, Bathsheba made her wisdom very evident when she was basically telling her son "not to fall into the trap of immorality, chasing after women will sap a king's strength. (Proverbs 31:3) I can only draw my own assumptions that Lemuel was inspired by that saying and wrote up a whole chapter based on what a woman of virtue should look like. I won't quote the chapter in this blog, although I must have read it three or four times tonight, and had it basically memorized at some point in high school, however I'll attempt to simplify with my such minuscule concoction of words.  

So, what is a Proverbs 31 woman? 
She is tr…

and the dust on my feet

From LAX to Dubai to Entebbe- here walking around in my beloved red dirt Uganda. Nothing seemed real until that plane brought me to this country. The plane wheels hit the ground and the tears started to roll down my cheeks. 

For so long, I have been so angry at God for giving this love for the nations, and then not opening any doors. Only to realize, that I needed growth, I needed to turn to Him fully, only to understand that He needed me somewhere else at the time. As I looked out the window through my teary eyes, I heard Him say "See, I got you back here." I felt a sense of relief, I felt as if this was what I needed from Him, to finally feel Him. 

Stepping out of the plane, the instant smell of Uganda hit my senses and my heart began to race. Feeling all sorts of emotions, I took my first step onto Uganda. My heart was full with joy. 

Getting all thirty of our checked in bags was already a challenge, patience was much needed. Sweat dripping down my neck, hunger in my tummy, …

shattered pieces of my heart

"break my heart for what breaks yours.." 

A song we sing at church. Are we crazy to sing a song that literally asks God to break our hearts for what breaks His? 

I've been on a lot of trips before, visiting the poverty, seeing the starving eyes, and holding the sickest of babies. Each trip opens my eyes more and more, and breaks my heart even on a greater scale. 

Today was a hard day for me. So many times during the day I wanted to burst into tears, I felt helpless, I felt and overwhelming wave of so much heartbreak, I think I actually heard my heart shatter to pieces. 

During worship, having a baby tied to my back the Ugandan style, I stood in front of the crowd and watched these kids barefoot, dirty clothes, teared t-shirts jump up and down praising God. In my mind I think "what do you have to praise them for?" Then Janet's words resonated "If you're alive, that is a reason in itself to be praising God." I had tears rolling down my face as I clo…