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The journey

Tell me about the journey you're on and I'll tell you mine. 

This journey we're all on, its a hard one. We might think we're headed in the right direction, and some of us on the right path. But then there are some that are directionally challenged...yeah that would be me. Always have been.

I'm starting to believe that most likely life doesn't throw us "curve balls" or "throw lemons" at us, life is made up of our decisions, our motives, our desires, our actions....but ya know, we're human beings so we like to think that life happens to us, something to blame when things go bad. On the contrary, we're the makers of our lives, we eventually decide what we do and what we live for. Do we believe in God. What's our definition of "right" and "wrong." What do we consider "grey areas" in our lives. I mean there are countless things that are ultimately left for us to decide. So what is going to be?

The journey to self, is what I like to call this. Through life, through all of our mistakes, our failures, our triumphs, our tragedies, our brokenness, our strengths, our disappointments and our joys- this all is part of our journey. Sometimes we, ourselves, cause pain to OURSELVES, and we break our own hearts. I promise you, we all do come out alive and well, some take longer than others, but we get there. It is the break that is caused by our own doing that is most horrific and tragic. Something in you dies, you lose it. But I think, and this brings me a bit of hope- I think, that through our loss of self, we find the self we want to be. Or the loss of self gives us an opportunity to create a new, maybe different version of self. It doesn't matter which road we take, we'll get there, at the right time.

As I experience my own failure, my own shortcomings- I must, I must have hope that a better version of me is on her way. I must believe that God can change a person, I must believe that this journey is what I make of it, and this journey will break me down through my own actions- but I'll come out stronger. I must see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that it will be ok.

The journey to self is only as painful or exciting as you, and only YOU can make it. We might go astray but it's up to us how long we choose to be at loss.

We'll be ok. I promise. Maybe not now. But someday.

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