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"Home"

"Wasn't that the definition of home? Not where you are from, but where you are wanted."~Abraham Verghese 

These words got me thinking. For so long I was so stuck up on the idea that my "home" was somewhere else. As I traveled overseas, visiting Haiti and Uganda, I always believed that my home was out there, never was I satisfied with where I was at. No matter how much I told myself that this is "home" I always daydreamed about the Haitian culture, the people, the kids. I envisioned the Ugandan red dirt, the streets, the villages on a daily basis.

Home. I am realizing- is not a geographical place, its the people. It is where you are wanted. Needed. Where your presence is missed when you're gone. Haiti and Uganda are places I've visited, made relationships and I would love to see them  again. However, Huntington Beach, where I was brought to live from half way around the world, this- is my home. To leave this, to leave my family who loves me and wanted me from the beginning is an unfathomable thought. To leave the people I've grown to love so very much is unimaginable.

I've realized how wrong of me it was to call some place else my "home" because my family worked so hard to make a home for me here. My friends lovingly provide an atmosphere of love and care, and yet I am constantly reaching for what seems a "better" place. How can I?

In no way am I saying that I will not follow wherever God calls me. But I do understand and am learning that I need to learn the definition of home. And this quote slapped me in the face. I've said this to myself so many times, but last night, it finally sunk in, "be satisfied with where you're at." Through certain circumstances I have seen God really pin me down and force onto me a lesson I was running from.

I am a person who is constantly searching to be somewhere else. Partially because I love adventure, but mainly because I run from things. I will use every excuse in the book to say as to why I want to leave, but it all comes down to me not seeing the goodness around me, the precious people around me who daily contribute to my growth, and most importantly my family- who has slaved over raising me and shaping me into the person I am today.

So, "home" - perhaps it is not a physical place of residence, but it is where you are wanted and where you are love.

I hope you've found your home.
~Nat

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