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to the ones who created me.

I think of you. I think of you both. I think of you often. I remember your voices. I remember your smells. I remember your blue eyes, and I remember bear tight hugs. I remember your laughter, and I remember your tears. I remember the bottles in your hands, and I remember the belt above me hitting my bare body. I remember the postcards, and I remember the visits. I remember it all. 
I remember the nights spent alone. 

Most of all I remember the empty promises. I remember the absence. 

I've moved on. I've put you to rest. As I see your lives moved on, with wives and husbands and kids of your own, I ache and you don't even know. 

Father- you take your daughter to the zoo, to the beach and on fancy vacations. I remember the glimpses of you i saw in the hallways, I remember the back of your coat as you walked away. 

Mother- I see you with your step daughter, showering her with gifts. I remember the goodbyes I heard as you left me for days. 

I think of you. I think of you both. 

Answers that will never be answered. Sorrys that will never be enough. Nothing will erase the things I remember. 

Your voice used to be my favorite, mother. Your arms stretched out to hold me used to be safe, father. 
Until you gave me up. 

For good or for not, I wonder why. I guess after you lost me, you were ready to be what you were never to me. 

You'll never know. Or understand, but I think of you. Sometimes, I long for you. Just know, I remember you. I remember it all. 

this ones to you. to the ones who made me, to the mistake that was made, to the regret that I was to you; I became a daughter to someone else. I became a sister to another. I became a treasure you never saw, and I'm selflessly loved. 

Just know, there's a certain emptiness because of you, and I do not thank you for it. I do thank you for giving me up when I needed you most. I thank you for choosing everything else in the world but me. I remember that. 


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